I Went to Lawschool After One Episode of Alley McBeal: A Poem

This poem was written for a live reading/storytelling event earlier this month called Happy Accidents: An Evening of True Stories held in Busan, South Korea.

Law school

Boy, was that a mistake!

I thought that this was what I wanted. I worked so hard to get into the top law school of the country. I studied hard; so hard that I graduated at the top of my class. I took the exam and had the interview. All to prove to a bunch of people on a panel that I was worthy. After just a month of classes, I knew I wasn’t. My Momma cried when I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe I should not have raised her Asian hopes up by telling her I wanted this, only to admit later that I couldn’t do it.

When I left law school after a month

Well, all said it was a mistake

To leave a lucrative career

What are you going to do now?

Where are you gonna go now?

Korea.

Boy, was that a mistake!

I thought that it would be easy sailing. I studied something similar in the Philippines. How hard could a Masters be in the same field? Besides, I was going with a friend who was my classmate back in college. We were in all the same classes. I thought he was a good guy. Turns out, I was right about school but I was wrong about him. I cried from abuse for six months because all he wanted was power, power over people, power over women, power over me. Maybe I should have told someone, but nobody knew until I finally told him fuck off [a].

When I told him to fuck off after six months

Well, all said it was a mistake

Since he had been so nice

What are you going to do now?

Where are you gonna go now?

Language Exchange.

Boy, was that a mistake!

I was so scared to make friends - to start dating too. My “friend” was the only person I had communicated with for 6 months, and now I had no one. I was still ready to try though, but boy, did I fail spectacularly! I didn’t know how to flirt, or to know who were just interested in being my friend and who was interested in dating me. I ruined friendships because of my mistakes. Maybe I should have given up trying to date people who were only interested in being friends.

When I told a friend that I was giving up dating altogether.

Well, he said that it was a mistake

To give up just so easily

What are you going to do now?

Where are you gonna go now?

Online Dating.

Boy, was that a mistake!

See my new friend from Language Exchange told me that I shouldn’t try to date people from there but to give online dating a shot. So I did and ooh boy, was that a ride [b]. It was so easy to get a date for one night, but never for more than that. People would make me feel confident only to crush me later when they didn’t call. So much games were played. You have to play them just right, and don’t scare anyone away. Maybe I should have just been honest and told them that I was looking for something more permanent.

When I told a guy that I want something lasting

Well, all said it was a mistake

To say that after just the first date

What are you going to do now?

Where are you gonna go now?

Honesty.

Boy... was that the best decision I ever made.

I met my husband on OKCupid. We talked for two days, non-stop. Then I asked him, what he was looking for on OKCupid. He said he was looking for something real, then he asked me the same question. I told him I was looking for something lasting, something that’s not just for the night, something that would lead to roots being laid down somewhere. Something that everyone told me would scare people away.

Boy, were they mistaken.

Leaving law school to go to Korea to leaving my only friend to trying to date my way through Busan to meeting the love of my life seemed like it was a series of mistakes but I didn’t know it would lead me to my most treasured situation in life.

To love and to be loved.

And how can that be a mistake?

***

Footnotes:

a. I don't usually do strong languages in my writing, but I felt like this guy deserved it.

b. I've never seen so many pictures of genitals in my life.