I have two weaknesses when it comes to food: rice and anything sweet.
So when my doctor told me I was pre-diabetic, it didn't exactly come as a shock to me [a]. Since I was only at the "pre-" stage, she told me that I didn't need to be put on any medicine. However, I was teetering on the edge and if I didn't change my eating habits soon - it's Diabetes Town for me.
I had to drastically change everything about the way I ate, and the hardest part about it? I had to say goodbye to my rice. As a Filipina, choosing to cut out rice from my diet was the hardest thing I've ever had to do [b]. The second hardest thing? Starting this new diet and exercise lifestyle.
The first day when it was still fun was easy. I was cooking and preparing meals for the first time as a married woman - I felt so domestic [c]. Going to the gym and trying out a new workout was exciting. It also helped that I bought some new workout clothes that showed off my new tattoo.
I looked fabulous on the way to feeling fabulous.
After the first week, I wanted to be done with it. I was tired of eating oatmeal that would turn gummy the minute you look away. I was tired of 30-second side planks that was probably invented to torture some poor soul. I was tired of drinking only water, water, water as far as the eye could see.
I was facing the same thing I always faced whenever I tried to do something like this before. Despair? Probably not that dire, but I did feel like I was hitting a wall and if I didn't break through - I wouldn't ever break away from my bad habits.
I was so close to giving up and giving in to the siren call of white rice and chocolate, but then someone in my church passed away [d]. That was when I realized again how terrified I was of dying. Not in the I don't want to die a painful death way nor was I scared of what would come after death - but I didn't want to leave my family. I wanted to live and live healthily for my husband, my future kids, and for myself.
So I punched a hole against that wall. I came up with new ways of preparing oatmeal [e], and chicken breasts. I looked for exercises that made me excited and did them more often than those that only promised quick results.
I've lost 15 lbs since I started a month ago. Not that much sure but, it's something. I've felt healthier and happier since I started. I've had more energy and I don't feel as tired as I used to. And the food I used to eat back then? They taste a hundred times better as a treat once in a while, rather than something I gobble down every day.
It was hard, and it still is, but I'm not going to give up.
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Footnotes:
a. My parents are diabetic, my grandparents are diabetic, my eating habits are terrible and I hardly ever exercise. I should be shocked I didn't already have diabetes.
b. Am I exaggerating? Probably.
c. Living with your parents when you're already married is weird. For a while, my husband and I just piggybacked on my mom's cooking. Having a strict diet means I have to prepare my own food - and my husband, ever the health-nut, decided to join me.
d. My church is a small church and everyone knew everyone. He didn't die of diabetes or any complications because of it though - but it did make me face my mortality.
e. Two words: Overnight Oats.